You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops