A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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What do Ash Ketchum and Peter Francis Geraci have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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