A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ross.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i found waldo.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops