Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

What did the horse say to the other horse? Nothing, they're both horses

Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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