Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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