You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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