Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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Richard Gere has a girlfriend called Goldie

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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