what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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