What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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