Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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