What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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My cat just died.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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