If your dying how would you avoid getting eaten alive by sharks or rip to shreds by a T-Rex? Fall on a sword

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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guess what? bannanas

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple??? You... Lol jk no there could be alot of things like getting raped, the holocaust, me killing your children i mean someone killing your children. Because if it was me you would know it was me and file a report and i would be arrested and be sent to jail. And in jail i would try my hardest to stay alive brcause if i died that would suck. I would also try not to drop the soap beacuse i might get rapped by some prisib mate, also the floors are quite dirty and that would guve me any type of bacteirial infection like the stupid yeats infection or maby the persob who takes it from me when i finnish would get aids cause it dropped on the floor and who knows were it was. Then he would die from aids and his wife and or kids would be sad and set up a funeral were a preist would stand in akward silence cause the guy murderd the preists father so he wouldnt be mean an ruin the funeral but he wouldnt say anything nice. But after the funeral the preist would go back home and smoke a cigarette because he has started an unhealthy habbit just like millions of people around the world. When will people learn that it kills you faster than cancer well some cancers are quite quick and painless like a head tumor. But most tumors are able to be saved because the doctors are smart these days coming from yale or havord universitys and what not. Most peopel want to take the easy way out by just working at kinkos or wallmart. Both jobs are shit wich is why im probably going to go there cause no one else will except me in there offices or departments. I think its the fact i look like a pedofile trying to kill babys but you know how life is short and difficult to control but you have one life why waste it. Stupid emo kids trying to cut emselfs and shoot themselfs so they dont have to deal with theirs or their partners periods because the other day coming back from mc donalds this guy almost hit me with his car and threw a cup at me for some strange reason but hey not my problem unless he was my first victim?...... Lol jk i have never killed anyone and im not that creapy... Awks POTATO!!!

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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