What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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Knock Knock.

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I have a really funny joke.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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