What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

Phew... it's gone.

What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

If a red house is made out of red bricks, and a blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is a green house made out of? Green bricks.

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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