What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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