Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for the women our peckers would rust. By:Jhonny Thomas Spikes & Trenton Thomas Prather

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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