Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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