A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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woman's rights

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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