bite me

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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