Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops