A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

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A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops