If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops