Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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