Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops