Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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I'm tired.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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what happened to the girl that didn't forward the threatening chain text to ten people? nothing.

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Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his power level? I can't remember... :(

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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