How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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