What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

guess what? bannanas

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

All of these jokes are about white people

How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

roses are black violets are black i am blind

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

A bar walks into a man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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