God is real.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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moonshine most none americans think its just when the moon shines we have another story

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Q. How many grains of rice can you fit in an egg? A. Fire extinguisher.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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