Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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TRICERATOPS!

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops