Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

thumb_up thumb_down +1

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Solvemedia fun: It says happy trails, a good one. Then it says Your answer below. ANSWER TO WHAT? To happy trails? Is that even a question? Is this world gonna explode? Is Santa real? Will Jesus ever return? I This and much more in the next exciting episode of Dragon NutZ SEE!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Batman brush his teeth? So he wouldn't get bat breath

thumb_up thumb_down +1

On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops