Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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