Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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A women in the kitchen.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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have safe sex

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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