What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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this is not a drill.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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