Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

The global news

What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

How do you drown a blonde? A: Drowing any person no matter the color of their hair is conpletely illegal and considered murder.

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...