What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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