Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

do you know cadbury choclate buttons? yeah, you know the white ones come out now, do you why? so the black kids can get there face dirty too

Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

Read a Book.

Indians

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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