Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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