a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Knock knock knock OCD

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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