What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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