Riddle me this, riddle me that. I'll eat your f^cking cat.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave"

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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