Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Guess what? I like trains.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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