A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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What's just not right? Left

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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a man was shot.... he died

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What is the worse joke to tell a Orpahn Knock Knock Whos there not your parents

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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