A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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Grace Ackerson

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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