what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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