If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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