Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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why is the black guy cross the rode. he did not' he got in a truck. i know it does not make s...

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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What do you call a really bad band? Nickelback.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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