If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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A bar walks into a man

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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