why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A wonderful dairy product that i can not have due to the fact that i do not own it.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops