There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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What's better then 100 dead babies in a barrel 1 dead baby in 100 barrels

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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What did the black guy get for Christmas? (In 1938) A bruise from the Klu Klux Klan.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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