A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Why did the fat guy pick up a noodle from the floor with his buttcheeks? He felt like pasta.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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the WNBA.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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why was justin sad? his family was murdered

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops