"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

The Labour Party.

why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...