how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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find the o 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duh its up top

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

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hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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