Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Jovan

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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