What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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Your mom is so environmentally conscious, she recycles a great deal.

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8================D-------- (.Y.)

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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