Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car, who's driving? Their father Micheal, he adopted both of them from a mentally handicapped orphanage when they were five.

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

No

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

You know what's cool? Yep.

Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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