A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Phew... it's gone.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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