What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck!

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Why not? --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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why did sally fall off a swing she had no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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What's worse than an hours detention? Gettind raped by a horse anally.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops