What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

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Whats funny about a guy with no legs? I bought him a wheelchair.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Two reporters walk into Tah rir Square. Both are abused and that's sad.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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