Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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why did the baby die? It was hit by a bus and then raped by a seal.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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9/11

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Q: what smells like cheese and tastes like cheese? A: cheese

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Nancy Kerrigan walks into a club

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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