How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops