I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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I'm Batman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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