Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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What did the smiley face say to the other smiley face? Nothing. They just smiled.

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womans rights...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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