So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Click here for free sandwich.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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What page are you on The gay page.

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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