Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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