Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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race-car = rac-ecar

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. It's an average bar. However these men don't drink. The priest ordered some onion rings, the minister fries and the rabbi poutine. They're good friends despite their different religious views.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Yellow People !!

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What's worse than this That :(

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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Im taking a shit right now.

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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What is Brown And Sticky ? ......... a Stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops