What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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I have a toaster. I have two subway coupons and a handful of pubic hair equal trade baby

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Matt is a Duster!

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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