Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops