Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Why did Jimmy go to a Barbershop for the first time? He needed a haircut, and the salon next to his house was closed because of financial problems

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left, so they proceed to make a left at the next stop and have a wonderful time in what many people consider the most wonderful place in the world.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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