Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Suck my bigvagina you faggetass bitchybuns

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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