What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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My cat just died.

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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Why did Wiggy fall into the toilet? Wiggy was the name of his turd.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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