What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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what's worse then death? finding that your adopted, no one loves you and you mother raped you at the tender age of five.

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Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Justin Bieber

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops