Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

Irish man English man and a Scottish man all in a plane they jump out then they land

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

Justin beiber comment if u get it

69...you know how awkward this is now...

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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